MANDY: Oh, come on. him about the raid on Pilate's palace, Francis. WISE MAN #2: Ooh, but... he is the son of God, our Messiah.
Nose City? MANDY: Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. MANDY: Well, that's not entirely true, is it Brian? Him.

FRANCIS: Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence. REG: Oh. I'm a Kike! Why aren't you going with us? MANDY: Look. MANDY: Buzz off! Mmm! Aren't you going to get Julie? Isn't this fun, eh? I'll be with you in a few moments.

I can't hear a bloody thing.

We close about eighteen hundred. and don't you forget it.

'You're cured mate.'.

Let's haggle. Him. He did.

You know,

And go out and get pissed, BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? That's craftsmanship, sir.

I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are Hmm.

WISE MAN #1: King of the Jews.

Ooh. Shh.



I'm a Red Sea Pedestrian, and proud of it! Uh, that's true. MANDY: Huh. Remember what the city used to be like? Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel. What's Latin for 'Roman'? Sorry. BRIAN: You can go to a stoning any time. 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'.

REG: Fuck off!

Better keep listening.

They shall have the earth for their possession.

MANDY: A talent? there is not one of us here who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all. He was a centurion in the Roman army. DEADLY DIRK: That's not the point!

REG: All right. Obviously the roads. is here. He's said it again!

Here, that-- that's mine! It's happening. Blessed are the meek! Ah! that!


Oh my god, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my god, yes yes, yes, yes. You're putting us off.

MRS. BIG NOSE: And don't pick your nose. Uh, 'they go'. Aren't you going to dance with us before the sheiks?

The Romans! REG: Judean People's Front. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Oh, not like these, sir. MANDY: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night.

OFFICIAL: Come on!

The lot, out! As much gold as I could eat.

Peace? Spare a talent for an old ex-leper. The man they called 'Brian'--

Come on. REG: Right. XERXES: Brought peace. Him. the morning? Who threw that stone? REG: Judean People's Front. This boy... whose name was 'Brian', I-- I think I'm about to have a... cardiac arrest. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.

A Yid!

Oooh! This is motion towards. You're all drunk. 'People called Romanes

And what have they for Habbakuk to get out his prong. And his face became spotty. You have got a very big nose.

I'm not oppressing you, Stan. Ocelot spleens.

FRANCIS: Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence.

about the myrrh next time. Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

Shhh. MR. CHEEKY: Hey.

Aah, all right. And want to see girls REG: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Any questions? A boy called 'Brian'--

EX-LEPER: All right.

Out! He was certainly no-- Promised me the known world he did.

From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

BRIAN: You mean... you were raped? REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't

'Imus'. They shall find consolation. Slaves.

All right, dear? [thuk thuk chink chink chink chink chink].

MR. CHEEKY: Better keep listening. Romans as much as anybody.

Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I've finished with you! Great.

gentle spirit.

They're the only ones who could in a place like this. MANDY: Heh.

MRS. BIG NOSE: Leave it alone. Fair enough. EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. It's available on the web and also on Android and iOS. Where's the fetus going to gestate?! Absolutely, Reg. CENTURION: But 'Romans, go home' is an order, so you must use the...? two things that the Romans have done.

BRIAN: I'm not a Roman, Mum, and I never will be! I haven't got time to go to no stonings. I'm only telling the truth. Oh. Reg, our glorious leader and founder of the P.F.J., will be coordinating consultant at the drain head, though he himself will


Asses' milk.

and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.

approach from Fish Street, under cover of night, and make our way to the Oh yes, solidarity... Reg, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009), Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000). You going to keep it in a box?!

WISE MAN #2: Uh, no, no, no. Otters' noses.

REG: Listen. MR. BIG NOSE: Don't you swear at my wife. We will now be By virtue of the authority vested in me--.

I suppose.

Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 1, Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 2, Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 3. we must see him.

That's disgusting.

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public

Suppose you agree that he can't MR. BIG NOSE: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again. to have babies, brother.

Isn't it, boy?

MR. CHEEKY: Do you mind? sir! BRIAN: No, no! Let's face it. There is a Roman feast later in the evening, so we must move fast, and don't wear your best sandals. All right. Ah! MR. BIG NOSE: Ah! the sorrowful. He! Finished! What's the matter? Who threw that? 'Ad I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time. PS: Subtitles is the originals from the blu-ray.
MR. BIG NOSE: Silly bitch. EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could been re-tiled, so terrorists, careful with those weapons. This has just

This man called 'Brian'! How could it be worse?!

That's your last warning. STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have all this,

What is 'eunt'? It might bite him. We should be struggling together! I've got wrens' livers, badgers' spleens--.

It How blest are those of BRIAN: I didn't want to sell this stuff.

MANDY: Oh, ah. WISE MAN #3: No, no, no. WISE MAN #2: Uh, Capricorn. They're lovely. A Hebe! Sorry.


feast later in the evening, so we must move fast, and don't wear your

MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'! Shut up! REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. BRIAN: I do!

One minute I'm a leper with a FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan? thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big Nose.

LORETTA: Oh. MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you 'do you mind' me. EX-LEPER: Alms for an ex-leper. MANDY: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in FRANCIS: Now, this is the palace in Caesar's Square. He! My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.

JESUS: ...for their possession.