My guess based on what you've said is that this is a phase and in my mind, a justified one. When the friend was leaving the friend said "see you later loser" as a joke and my son said "well we've got a bmw".

And as a way of feeling more in command of the situation, parents may become more rigid and controlling.

If he can't get on with the children at the school he's at now it's gonna be a whole lot worse at secondary as he's going to upset the wrong person before long.I've just been on the phone with his dad who said that at the weekend he's had my son's friend over for lunch. Yes maybe I am over thinking things - wouldn't be the first time to be honest.It's a lovely day here and I've got the day off work so I'm doing a BBQ for tea and their friends are coming round. It is important to distinguish between fear and anxiety. He experienced a mild loss of appetite. The opposite is usually true. We have had similar problems with our dd, who is now 14. Anxiety is common in children — and even more so in kids diagnosed with ADHD. you could get him to mood chart - someone recommended a site called moodscope on here recently - check it out and see if you think it would be useful for him. Children and adults use the word “anxious” to describe the hyperarousal and agitation that are part of ADHD. a 'WOULD YOU REPORT?' Many 11 year olds are not socially mature, that's why they say and do things we would find offensive or socially unacceptable with their friends. Finally, … I'm due to go in this week and catch up with his form teacher and head of year.He's fallen out with so many of his friends. A child who is constantly distracted by his anxious thinking seems to be inattentive to his teachers or parents, and gets labeled as having ADHD.

He hated separating from his mother to go to preschool. He thinks everyone hates him - his friends at school, his teachers, even members of his own family. DS will never, ever call for him as he says the other boy doesn't really like him. Diagnostic difficulties are compounded when a child has both an anxiety disorder and ADHD. My mum thinks it's just a normal part of growing up, but even if this is the case, I don't think there would be any harm in him talking to someone.
It all seems to be over extremely petty things and it's my son doing the "falling out".

Sometime after his seventh birthday, he began to straighten up everything in the house, and would become upset if anything was out of place. This is an area he is really struggling in at school. I have heard of this before and it is particularly acute with sensitive, gregarious, caring, sociable and empathic pre-adolescent boys. Ralph took great pride in his newfound ability to control his anxiety and in his performance in general. Many kids have an ongoing fear of the dark. The child that was bullying my son had a lot of problems at home and he was a "known" bully, so I fully believed my son and supprted him - again it was resolved.This year he says he's being bullied again. Anxiety lessens gradually over several weeks, especially if a low dose is used to avoid side effects.

Not to say there's no issues, but don't let your own anxiety overwhelm you, and do make sure you are calm/centred as much as you can (if that means getting extra help yourself, so be it- the CBT sounds great) as it won't help his moods if you are reacting emotionally a lot (and it will drive him into the 'I don't care about anyone' mode as a way of dealing with it).I am sympathetic, I have similar worries sometimes about my slightly younger dd, and I know when I am calm/centred myself, it's easier to deal with/see what's really going on. Please trust in your own feelings for how to make their child feel safe.

And ask the experts, that's what they are there for. He does not want to stay in the house on his own, even if I pop out for a few minutes. I know a fair few of the children he's saying are being mean. Ralph responded well to a rapidly fine-tuned dose of escitalopram.

He has, in the past, done karate, drama, dancing, gymnastics, beavers, swimming and violin but got bored of everything. Many 11 year olds are not socially mature, that's why they say and do things we would find offensive or socially unacceptable with their friends. His parents hoped that he would grow out of it, but his fearfulness and obsessive rituals only got worse. But the important thing is that, whatever the problem is, your son is telling you what makes him feel better, which is a testament to your good parenting. I would ask for a referral to camhs before the summer holidays kick in. Finally, their pediatrician insisted that they have a consultation with a child psychiatrist. Should we let him spend the night in our bed.
If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. Get the help you need now and be as ahead of the game as you possibly can. They’ve discovered some new things to watch that they all enjoy together, such as Japanese animation films Ponyo and My Neighbor Totoro. A simple ' Stop being daft ' is all that needs to be said about that - so, you register disapproval, you don't make a big thing out of it and he receives no attention for it. Sorry - missed a couple of bits out that I also feel are relevant.He doesn't have one single hobby at the moment other than spending time on the internet and watching tv. Every time his parents left the house, he worried that some tragedy would strike them and he would be left alone. It terrifies me him being "in the system", and I feel like I have failed him somewhat.Please let me know how you get on and what works for you.x.

I think you can ask the GP for a camhs referral. Take this survey - £100 voucher to be won, UK MNer with a school aged child? Ralph had always been a shy and anxious child. I will give him examples of when he has been unkind to someone without meaning to. Likewise, if ADHD is present, stimulants are needed to improve attention and to control hyperaroused, impulsive behavior. Resist them! agressive and disrespectful behaviour3.

My 13-year-old son is really afraid of germs. I feel horrible saying that about him but he just doesn't speak to people very well sometimes.

It Could Be All Three, Is It Just ADHD? For example, he adores his 4 year old sister but can sometimes be very unkind towards her. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here.

This worsened when he started first grade.

So, having said that, here is my issue: I am the mother of a 15-year-old teenager and a 10-year-old boy. It hasn't always been like this - they've never been particularly close but they did used to play chess together and would go ffor walks with the dog.With me he can go from laughing, to shouting at me, to floods of tears in literally ten minutes.I am the only person that he will really confide in and the only person he will ever show affection to. Both are usually started at the same time. Oh and re some of the things he says... for example, the BMW comment.

A recent review of 23 studies found that stimulants significantly reduced worry and anxiousness in the majority of children with coexisting ADHD and anxiety. Last night I had been in bed only a few minutes before he called out. I think it started with the SARS thing a few years ago.

Cognitive behavioral therapy to treat childhood anxiety is often done by parents who have anxiety disorders themselves. People who are anxious are always fearful. The safer we feel, the more confident we become.

"It's odd that we get rewarded for all the love and reassurance we give our children during the day but supposedly between 6pm and 6am those 'very good parenting behaviours', that lead to such positive consequences, are off limits. So it's good that we can talk.I'm going to try and get an appointment tomorrow with the gp and try and get the referral asap. Such ways of thinking are recent social inventions, unique to the west. He's so, so unhappy - like he's always on the verge of tears. A child who is afraid to go to school because he is being bullied, or because he is failing, does not have a disorder. He was rigid with fear, tearful and said he did not know why he was scared. Anxiety? The boys have separate bedrooms. His social problems4. Things may well get better.Best of luck.

His school-mates found him odd and distant, and he had few friends either at his school or in his neighborhood. I honestly think he's depressed. Anxiety disorders are genetic, and it is likely that a sufferer’s child will be impaired by the condition, as well. He hides it most of the time but I know he worries a lot. Plus it's not even his dad's car anyway - it's a company car!bobblesmama - how would I go about the camhs referral? I think I may make another appointment with a different GP in the practise as to be honest, he's getting worse.